Re: **Spam 1.0**
« Reply #840 on: Mar 8th, 2009, 04:11am »
Ever wonder what happened to Buster Brown, the comic strip charcter and shoe store mascot (with his evil,psychotic-looking dog)?
Well, after having trouble in the shoe business in the 70's, he landed a job in a Saturday morning cartoon version of Godzilla.
That job didn't last too long as many die-hard Godzilla fans rebelled against Hollywood's meddling with the image of the beloved giant lizard when they made him shoot lasers out of his eyes. Hollywood would fail again with Godzilla in 1998 when they mixed in Matthew Broderick, but I digress.
In the 1980's, Buster Brown grew up and, with the help of steroids, landed the leading role in He-Man!
Buster eventually left the series when he could no longer reconcile the mental incongruency of fighting his arch-nemisis, Skeletor, while obtaining his power from Castle GraySkull.
Fortunately, video games became a hot, emerging market and Buster Brown was cast in the legendary game, Street Fighter, as Ken!!!
While he was reluctant to use the new name, Buster soon grew accustomed to being Ken. Mattel, however, complained that there was already a Ken persona with no last name and forced CapCom to give Ken a last name!
"It takes two to speak the truth ~ one to speak, and another to hear" - Henry David Thoreau
Re: **Spam 1.0**
« Reply #842 on: Mar 13th, 2009, 9:45pm »
Dang LPC...that brings back memories!.......Johnny was the best!....
“God made man But he used the monkey to do it Apes in the plan We're all here to prove it I can walk like an ape Talk like an ape Do what a monkey can do God made man But a monkey supplied the glue.” – DEVO
No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.
Patriot Micro Chip
« Reply #844 on: Mar 29th, 2009, 9:56pm »
THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists. The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead. When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God. It comes in various sizes ...
The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled technician. The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary. Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.
Polecats note: The SMK are Sierra Match King hollow points, among the most accurate projectiles in the world. The Lapua may be more accurate than the Sierra in some cases. Scenar I am not familiar with. The one with the green tip is the Hornady Balistic Tip. It has a polycarbonate tip that forces rapid, violent expansion upon impact.
Is it legal to kill zombies (and other related questions)?
Let’s say a virus breaks out causing large numbers of people to die and then reanimate into living-dead creatures that feed on human flesh. Let’s call those infected humans “zombies” for the sake of brevity.
For those humans who remain uninfected, what is the legality of killing zombies? It seems like pretty obvious self defense to kill a zombie if (s)he’s trying to bite your throat, right? But what if you’re holed up in an elevated safe house and have sniper access to the zombie hoards below? Would it be legal to pick off zombies from afar even though they don’t pose an immediate threat? What if the sniping is done purely for sport?
On a more serious note, let’s say one of your friends is bitten by a zombie and infected. If you know he has only hours before he becomes a full-blown zombie (posing a danger to you and others), is it legal to kill him? Or what if you hand said friend a gun so that he can kill himself before the infection sets it? Is that illegal assisted suicide?
And what would happen if the government involuntarily detained a zombie for medical or military experimentation? Would the zombie’s constitutional rights be violated? If not, would his treatment fall under the purview of animal cruelty laws, at minimum?
Finally, in the event a cure is discovered for the virus that causes “zombie,” can the cured be held legally responsible for actions taken while infected?
Answered by a lawyer:
You can't kill a dead person. You're good to go. The crime, murder, manslaughter, etc. would be in the taking of a human life. When the reanimated body chases after you, your self defense plea is unnecessary. Even if you believed the body to be alive and your intent was to kill a living person, you would be off the hook due to the legal impossibility of successfully committing the crime.
Now, you may face certain problems with the intentional discharge of firearms in the city limits. Also, I believe the preferred method of dispatching zombies would often times be a flame thrower. These are generally illegal for civilians to possess. The last thing you need when the zombies are closing in is to be trying to ward off federal firearms agents. If you really want to keep it legal, I would suggest a chain saw. Highly effective and fun to operate.
Give your friend the gun and just say it was for his protection against further bites while we’re waiting to see if a cure is discovered.
The cured zombie would likely not be held responsible for his/her acts as those acts would be considered involuntary. If, however, the infected person had been infected intentionally, then this would be no defense. This is similar to drunk driving. If someone drugs you or spikes your Pepsi without your knowledge, you have never formed the requisite intent. If you go out drinking and then you (in your booze addled state) decide to drive, your intent to imbibe is enough.
I’ll pose one to you. If (1) you decline to follow my advice and decide to go with a machine gun; and (2) if you are confronted by an officer of the law; and (3) you realize that said officer has been fully infected and is a pure specimen of the living dead, can you take him out? The original Dawn of the Dead is the best one.
On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience..
To recap my enclosures: Four toilet seats Six hammers and One screw
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Because of the recent uproar about beauty pagents, I thought it appropriate to mention some other events.
Miss Jumbo Queen. Thailand. No skinny Minnies or Annie-rexics at this annual beauty pageant; here, the contestants must weigh a minimum of 175 pounds, and can win as much as $50,000 and an oversized (naturally) trophy. There are subsets of winners; the heaviest contestant can also take home a prize, for example. If you like 'em large and lovely, this is the place to be � and come on, it's for a good cause! The proceeds of the event all go to help protect Thailand's elephant population. No, we're not joking.
Miss Hell Hole Swamp. Jamestown, South Carolina. You got your Miss Garlics and Miss Limp Carrots out there, sure, but they shrink in the presence of the big bad Miss Hell Hole Swamp. Wouldn't you? Jamestown has barely 100 residents, but their local festival swells that number exponentially during its annual Hell Hole Swamp Festival, which got its name during the Revolutionary War, when a general called it a "helluva hole in the swamp." And every deep pit needs its queen, apparently.
Miss Outdoors Pageant. Golden Hill, Maryland. "The great outdoors" may translate to most beauty pageant attendees as an afternoon sunning by the pool, but since 2003, participants in the "Miss Outdoors" pageant have melded their clear skin and winning smile with another unique talent � muskrat skinning. For the past 54 years the National Outdoor Show has held a beauty contest and a muskrat skinning contest, but in 2003 Tiffany Brittingham paired the two up and skinned a 'rat for her talent portion. Wearing makeup and jewelry while wielding a knife on the dead animal, she raised a ruckus � and even got a marriage proposal � but didn't win until 2005. The event was filmed for a 2004 documentary called "Muskrat Lovely." You could say these two things � pageants and skinning � just go together, kind of like Captain and Tennille.
Loveliest Camel. United Arab Emirates. Who says you have to conform to traditional ideas of beauty to be in a pageant? Who even says you have to be human? Not the discerning judges who oversee the annual camel beauty pageant in Abu Dhabi, held for the past seven years in April as part of the Mazayin Dhafra festival. There may be other competitions between camels around the Middle East, but this one tr-humps them all. Millions of dollars and assorted cars and trucks go up as prizes, and the winning camels command incredible prices once it's all over (something that can't be said about most beauty pageant winners). In 2007, one sheik purchased 16 camels for $4.5 million during one such pageant. Brings new meaning to "my humps, my lovely lady lumps."
Miss Catfish. Belzoni, Mississippi. Yeah, they're bottom-feeding, whisker-waving and kind of mean-spirited � and no, they're not lawyers. Rather they're catfish, and fried up with some batter they're darn fine eatin'. So why not celebrate the cash crop of Mississippi every year, as 20,000 visitors to Belzoni do, with a World Catfish Festival on the lawn of the courthouse? There's a 5K race, an eating contest, and, of course, a Miss Catfish. Fortunately, based on photos, she does not require whiskers.
Miss Spring. Siberia, Russia. Such a pleasant-seeming title belies the truth: This particular pageant is designed for the inmates of UF 91/9, a women's prison camp so remote it's 20 miles removed from Siberia's capital, Novosibirsk. Inmates created their own rules for the program, which began in 1990, creating three competitive categories: Greek Goddesses, Flower Gowns and Imaginary Uniforms. The event is broadcast on local television, and certain participants have even become movie stars, of a sort: A "Miss Gulag" documentary about the pageant was released in 2007. And no, the winner does not get her sentence commuted.
Miss Plastic Surgery. China. With even adolescents getting touch-ups these days, the rules about plastic surgery and beauty pageants are going to have to loosen up a bit � so it's a shame that "Miss Plastic Surgery" was a one-time only deal. The 2004 contest was organized after an 18-year old woman was thrown out of another Chinese pageant specifically because she'd had work done. Participants from around the world joined the 90 contestants, including one extreme surgery participant � a 21-year old transsexual. The winner got a country club membership worth $6,000. Maybe she traded it in and got some more work done?
Miss Snake Charmer. Sweet-water, Texas. Most beauty pageants don't require winners to be associated with venomous creatures. Not so much in Texas, where the annual Sweeer Rattlesnake Roundup features rattlesnake milking, rattlesnake eating � and a queen for the spectacle. The pageant itself is fairly traditional, though there are far more rattlers around than judges. In 2009 the event celebrated its 50th crowning and a high school student earned $1,250 in scholarship money.
BTW, the censor for Sweet/water really pisses me off.
A bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover - by boosting the level of amines which clear the head, scientists have found.
The reaction between amino acids in the bacon and reducing sugars in the fat is what provides the bacon sandwich with its appeal Photo: GETTY
Researchers claim food also speeds up the metabolism helping the body get rid of the booze more quickly.
Elin Roberts, of Newcastle University's Centre for Life said: "Food doesn't soak up the alcohol but it does increase your metabolism helping you deal with the after-effects of over indulgence. So food will often help you feel better.
"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."
Ms Roberts told The Mirror: "Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."
Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.
The reaction between amino acids in the bacon and reducing sugars in the fat is what provides the sandwich with its appeal.
Ms Roberts said: "The smell of sizzling bacon in a pan is enough to tempt even the staunchest of vegetarians. There's something deeper going on inside. It's not just the idea of a tasty snack. There is some complex chemistry going on.
"Meat is made of mostly protein and water. Inside the protein, it's made up of building blocks we call amino acids. But also, you need some fat. Anyone who's been on a diet knows if you take all the fat from the meat, it just doesn't taste the same. We need some of the fat to give it the flavour."
She explained that the reaction released hundreds of smells and flavours but it is the smell which reels in the eater. "Smell and taste are really closely linked," she said. "If we couldn't smell then taste wouldn't be the same."